← Home
Being Well · February 2, 2026 · 1h 0m
Fixing vs. Feeling: How to Get on the Same Team with Elizabeth Ferreira
Forrest Hanson sits down with somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira to explore the common dynamic of 'fixing' versus 'feeling' in relationships. They discuss why some people leap to problem-solving while others need empathy first, how these patterns function as psychological defenses, and the ways gender socialization and personal history shape communication styles. The conversation offers practical tools for bridging the gap, including asking 'Do you want empathy or solutions?' and prioritizing attunement before problem-solving, and touches on how trauma and nervous-system activation can amplify conflict.
This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.
Highlights
•
•
The hosts argue that in relationships, emotional attunement—really listening and validating—must come before offering solutions for the conversation to be effective.
•
Ferreira and Hanson discuss how discomfort with strong emotions often stems from early life experiences where expressing emotion was unsafe or punished.
•
The conversation examines how unresolved trauma can lead to nervous-system dysregulation, causing partners to become activated (fight, flight, freeze) during ordinary disagreements.
Editorial
Misc
✧The simple question 'Do you want empathy or solutions?' is offered as a way to immediately align partners.
✧The episode ends with a teaser about Complex PTSD in relationships.
Was this useful?