Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky explores the critical distinction between being loved and feeling loved—why external affection doesn't always translate to internal experience. The episode examines what creates genuine closeness in relationships and why perception matters as much as behavior. Greg Walton returns to answer listener questions about breaking negative thought spirals.
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Curious
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Being Loved vs. Feeling Loved
The distinction between objective relationship support (being loved) and subjective experience (feeling loved) fundamentally determines relationship satisfaction.
Partners often have dramatically different perceptions of how much they're communicating love, attention, and support—one partner thinks they're being generous, the other feels neglected.
Creating a stronger feeling of closeness in relationships isn't about grand gestures—it's about deliberate, specific communication about what 'feeling loved' actually means to each person.