← Home
Being Well · September 7, 2026 · 1h 12m
People Pleasing vs. Fawning: Why We Do It and How to Change
Dr. Rick Hanson and Forrest Hanson explore the critical distinction between people-pleasing and the fawn response, tracing the surprising history of both terms and their relationship to trauma. They explain why old friendships can pull you back into old patterns, when appeasement is actually adaptive, and how to become more assertive when others expect you to concede. The episode provides practical guidance for learning what you actually want after a lifetime of tuning into everyone else's needs.
This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.
Curious
•
Pete Walker identified fawning as a fourth survival response — beyond fight, flight, and freeze — where a person becomes servile and compliant to neutralize a threat.
Highlights
•
•
Long-standing relationships have a powerful gravitational pull that can pull you back into outdated versions of yourself, making change harder.
•
•
Chronic people-pleasing or fawning often masks a deeper absence — a lack of practice in tuning into your own desires because emotional neglect taught you that your needs didn't matter.
Was this useful?