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Where Should We Begin? · October 21, 2024 · 55m
What Happened to Us?
A couple married 22 years who feel like roommates. They can't identify when the love died — it didn't die in a dramatic moment but eroded through a thousand small neglects. Perel explores the slow death of connection through emotional neglect.
This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.
Canon
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Perel: the most common cause of relationship death is not infidelity or conflict — it's the gradual erosion of attention, affection, and curiosity. Thousands of small moments where partners choose convenience over connection accumulate into a gulf that feels impossible to cross.
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Perel: the healthiest long-term relationships are characterized by ongoing curiosity about the partner — continuing to ask, discover, and be surprised. Contempt begins when curiosity ends, when you believe you know everything about the other person and there's nothing left to discover.
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