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Where Should We Begin? · August 14, 2023 · 56m

My Race Is Invisible to You

An interracial couple navigates the pain of one partner feeling that their racial experience is invisible to the other. The white partner's well-intentioned colorblindness is experienced as erasure.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Canon

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Perel helps the white partner understand that racial privilege is an environment: it shapes daily experience, risk assessment, and social navigation in ways that are invisible to those who have it, just as water is invisible to fish.

Highlights

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Colorblindness in intimate relationships is a form of erasure — when a partner says I do not see race, they are saying I do not see a fundamental part of who you are
Perel helps the couple see that the white partner's I do not see color is intended as love (I see you as a person, not a race) but received as erasure (you are denying a core part of my identity and daily experience).
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