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Where Should We Begin? · August 14, 2023 · 56m

My Race Is Invisible to You

An interracial couple navigates the pain of one partner feeling that their racial experience is invisible to the other. The white partner's well-intentioned colorblindness is experienced as erasure.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Canon

Perel helps the white partner understand that racial privilege is an environment: it shapes daily experience, risk assessment, and social navigation in ways that are invisible to those who have it, just as water is invisible to fish.

Highlights

Colorblindness in intimate relationships is a form of erasure — when a partner says I do not see race, they are saying I do not see a fundamental part of who you are
Perel helps the couple see that the white partner's I do not see color is intended as love (I see you as a person, not a race) but received as erasure (you are denying a core part of my identity and daily experience).
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