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Huberman Lab #241 · May 5, 2025 · 2h 20m
Contracts of Love & Money That Make or Break Relationships
Divorce attorney James Sexton — 20+ years, thousands of cases — on what actually destroys marriages. Not big betrayals but small erosions: emotional neglect, financial deception, and the Four Horsemen patterns. A lawyer's view of Gottman's research.
This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.
Canon
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Sexton: Gottman's Four Horsemen (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling) appear in every divorce he processes. By the time couples reach his office, the Horsemen have been riding for years.
Highlights
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Small erosions destroy marriages — not big betrayals
Sexton: the #1 reason marriages fail isn't infidelity — it's thousands of small moments of emotional neglect. Not turning toward your partner when they bid for attention. Not responding to their excitement. Not noticing their pain.References
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If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late — James Sexton — Lessons from thousands of divorces
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