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The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett · September 10, 2026 · 2h 26m

Likeability Expert: Stop Doing This, It’s Why People Quietly Avoid You! | Vanessa Van Edwards

Steven Bartlett, Vanessa Van Edwards

Behavioral researcher Vanessa Van Edwards returns to decode the psychology of connection. She explains why autopilot social scripts kill rapport, reveals a three‑level conversational blueprint for going deep fast, and shares body‑language techniques to project warmth and competence. Using her newest book Conversation, she gives a science‑backed primer on charisma, turn‑taking, and the story archetypes that shape every interaction.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Novel

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The Conversation Blueprint00:06:46
Van Edwards introduces a three‑level framework for moving conversations from surface talk to genuine connection.
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The 45‑Second Rule of Conversational Turn‑Taking
Speaking for more than 45 seconds without letting the other person speak creates a friction point that damages rapport.
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Maximum Resonance Point for Body Language
You can instantly project warmth and competence by finding your body’s 'maximum resonance point'—the optimal posture and vocal tone.
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The Five Story Archetypes01:36:09
People naturally default to one of five psychological story archetypes when talking about themselves, and decoding which type someone uses lets you connect on their terms.
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Highlights

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The Autopilot Trap00:35:37
Scripted questions like 'How are you?' and 'What do you do?' destroy connection by keeping the interaction on social autopilot.
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Genuine Curiosity as Charisma00:32:46
True, unscripted curiosity makes you more charismatic than any learned technique, because it signals genuine interest in the other person.
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References

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Cues — Vanessa Van Edwards (2022)
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Captivate — Vanessa Van Edwards (2017)
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Conversation — Vanessa Van Edwards (2026) — Pre‑order, the framework for the episode

Misc

✧Steven asks listeners to participate in a real‑time 'luck' challenge on his website during the episode.
✧Vanessa’s book Conversation was available for pre‑order at the time of recording.
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