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Being Well · February 16, 2026 · 1h 15m

Codependency and Healthy Dependency with Nedra Glover Tawwab

Therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Forrest Hanson to discuss the unintended consequences of the boundaries movement. They explore how the helpful concept of boundaries has sometimes led to isolation and rigid standards, and make the case for healthy dependency — the reality that we all need other people. Nedra explains the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence, why attachment styles are more flexible than commonly believed, and how the stories we tell about ourselves become self-fulfilling. Throughout, they focus on developing key skills: asking for help, receiving support, tolerating distance, feeling comfortable in closeness, and repairing after conflict.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Canon

Attachment styles are not fixed labels15:00
Nedra shares that attachment styles—often seen as permanent—are actually more flexible and can change through new relationship experiences and self-awareness.

Novel

Healthy dependency is the middle ground between codependency and hyper‑independence7:14
Nedra presents a spectrum where healthy dependency involves being able to rely on others while maintaining a sense of self, as opposed to enmeshment or emotional isolation.

Highlights

The boundaries movement can lead to isolation0:00
The popular focus on setting boundaries, while helpful, has led some to rigidly cut people off and avoid closeness, causing loneliness.
Personal narratives like “I’m not a relationship person” reinforce the behaviors that make them true, while changing the story can open up new possibilities.
Imperfect relationships are still worth showing up for52:50
Healthy dependency isn’t about finding perfect people but about learning to repair after conflict, tolerate discomfort, and stay engaged through the messy parts.

References

The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing YourselfNedra Glover Tawwab (2026)
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