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The Art of Manliness · September 8, 2026 · 48m 02s

If I Don't Return: A General's Wartime Journal for His Sons

Lieutenant General Mark Hertling
Show Notes

Retired three-star General Mark Hertling joins the show to discuss his new book *If I Don't Return*, which grew out of a journal he started during Operation Desert Storm when he faced a real possibility of not coming home to his young sons. The conversation covers the lessons about life, leadership, and character he wanted to pass on, including making every day count, planning for friction, the importance of marriage and friendship, the role of handwritten notes, the moral weight of war, and what it means to build a man.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Highlights

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Making Every Day Count
Facing the possibility of not returning from war, Hertling's journal became a vehicle for imparting the life lessons he wanted his sons to have, treating each day as potentially his last chance to teach them.
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Planning for Friction
Drawing on Clausewitz's concept of friction, Hertling emphasizes that plans will inevitably encounter resistance and the unexpected, and that a leader's real test is how they respond when things go wrong.
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The Moral Weight of War
Hertling reflects on the heavy moral responsibility that comes with leading soldiers in combat, where decisions carry life-and-death consequences for both those under his command and others.
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Editorial

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Handwritten Notes and the Value of Personal Connection
Hertling stresses the importance of handwritten notes as a way to build and maintain genuine relationships, a practice he maintained throughout his career.
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Building a Man Through Marriage and Friendship
Hertling discusses the formative role of marriage and deep friendship in shaping character, arguing that these relationships are central to what it means to build a man.
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References

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If I Don't Return — Mark Hertling — The book discussed in the episode, based on Hertling's wartime journal.
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On War — Carl von Clausewitz — Referenced in the episode's resources.

Misc

✧Hertling started the journal after an intelligence briefing estimated his unit could suffer 50 percent casualties.
✧He served 38 years in the Army, including as assistant division commander in Baghdad and commander of the 1st Armored Division in Iraq during the 2007-2008 surge.
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