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The Art of Charm · August 10, 2026 · 1h 12m

How to Break the Patterns Holding You Back | Judy Ho

Judy Ho

AJ and Johnny interview clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Judy Ho about the psychology of self-sabotage. They explore the hidden fears and beliefs that lead to self-defeating behaviors, including black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, and an excessive need for control. Dr. Ho introduces the four LIFE drivers of self-sabotage and practical tools like the ABC framework and if-then plans. The conversation also covers how aligning goals with values creates lasting motivation and how self-sabotage damages relationships. Listeners will learn a daily exercise for catching negative thoughts and strategies to break free from destructive patterns.

This summary was generated from show notes and public descriptions, not from a full transcript review. Details may contain inaccuracies.

Canon

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Self-Sabotage as a Protective Mechanism08:00
Dr. Ho explains that self-sabotage arises from deep-seated fears and beliefs that make change feel threatening, causing us to pull back from our goals.
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If-Then Plans for Overcoming Obstacles44:20
Dr. Ho recommends creating if-then statements to pre-commit to specific responses when triggers arise, turning vague intentions into concrete actions.
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Novel

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The Four LIFE Drivers of Self-Sabotage12:30
Dr. Ho identifies four core drivers: Low self-concept, Internalized beliefs, Fear of change or the unknown, and Excessive need for control.
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Highlights

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Cognitive Distortions as Triggers19:15
Black-and-white thinking, catastrophizing, comparison, and low self-concept are common mental filters that activate self-sabotage.
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Rebuilding Habits with the ABC Framework41:00
Dr. Ho presents a structured framework for analyzing and reshaping the cycle of triggers, behaviors, and consequences that maintain self-sabotage.
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Values Create Lasting Motivation51:10
Aligning goals with core values generates intrinsic motivation that outlasts the temporary boost of discipline or willpower.
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A Daily Exercise for Catching Negative Thoughts1:03:10
Dr. Ho shares a simple daily practice for noticing automatic negative thoughts before they trigger self-sabotage.
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Editorial

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Self-Sabotage in Relationships58:05
The same fears and distortions that derail personal goals can erode trust, intimacy, and connection with partners and friends.
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Misc

✧The show notes open with the line, “You can be inches from the life you want—and still find a way to pull yourself backward.”
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